If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
