If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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