I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
