she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
