On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
