sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
