My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
