You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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