To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
