Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
