I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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