You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos