Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.