If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.