I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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