dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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