If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
