there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize