Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He did a backflip because drugs
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