She said her name was "party"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
