My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I want to be your penis for a week.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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