We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
