Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
