so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
