Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
foreskin is a definite game changer
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
