i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
