I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
