I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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