He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
