i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
