The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
