end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
