Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize