I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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