my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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