...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
