I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
