haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
