You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
