ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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