I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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