I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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