I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I faked an abortion last night.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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