Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
