What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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