I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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