she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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