so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
