And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
