it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
