The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
BRING THE BAGELS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
