Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
