He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
