What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize