So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
