after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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