Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
