about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
