I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
