Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
