I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize