Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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