I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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