I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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