and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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