oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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