PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Two words: nipple clamps
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