ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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